Introducing Shepherd Wright

If you’ve bumped into our family in the last five months, you’ve seen a definite difference.  We are now a family of four (five if you count dogs).  That’s right!!  We’ve added a second son (and this one) via adoption.  If you haven’t seen us and therefore you met him, then maybe you’ve seen pictures.  But, in case neither of the above is true for you.  We’re ready for you guys to meet him since as of October the adoption is final and the decree is signed.  I hope you’ll read our story and rejoice with us for all that God has done in our lives.

Why adopt? –

We are often asked why we decided to adopt.  There are lots of reasons why adoption has always been a desire for us.  A) There are lots of children who need love.  And our capacity to love is big.  B)  God’s word says that it is a “pure religion” that cares for widows and orphans… – and adoption is one means for doing so C) I saw lots of hurting children when I was a child.  I always wanted to help.  That desire never left me.  D) Adoption has actually always been in my life.  I’ve seen firsthand what it means to love children that are not your own biologically as if it was the most natural thing ever.  E) But, lastly, Kimberly and I were both motivated by the knowing that we are adopted.  A loving God sought us out and made us part of his family.  In turn, we want others, as many others as possible to know his saving grace.  And, we sincerely pray that he is gracious to our sons that they would come to saving faith in the Messiah.

A quest to adopt…

I’ve come to the conclusion that the adoption process is always a journey filled with ups and downs.  After taking the first step of deciding to adopt, the journey kicks off with ordinary stuff like completing lots of paperwork and opening up your life to a great deal of scrutiny.  And, then you make it to the point where there’s an approvable (hopefully) home study that explains just who the adoptive family is and what they’re about.  We then completed a profile with lots of pictures and words about our family that was shared with the birth mom [a new term I learned for a woman who is giving birth to a child that is adopted].  It’s a high point to get done with interviews and to have something that paints a picture of our family as the all-American Christian family that wants to adopt a baby.

Then the low hits when you think you’re matched but mama decides to keep baby either because she now thinks it’s the best thing or she just can’t bear the thought of losing the child that she has now held in her arms.   That feels like a major loss.  Real tears are shed and real grief is felt.  Sleepless nights follow.  Prayer for both mama and the child happen continually.  This heartbreaking moment happened to us twice.

We prayed a lot.  We asked, “Why?” a lot.  We began to seek out what God was doing in us and whether he might have us take a different approach on something.  Did I say we prayed a lot?  We knew God had led us to the path of adoption and so we didn’t want to give up.  We were confident that he had a child for us.  And, in the words of Fred Hammond, “to give up now would be jacked up for sure”.

With one of our failed adoptions, we landed in an attorney’s office.  Apparently sometimes attorneys have women who approach them looking for matching adoptive parents.  We gave the attorney the green light to share our info if such a case happened.  His assistant said not to hold our breath because it rarely happens.  Well, she called us twice in as many weeks with ladies looking for adoptive parents.  The second ended up being a situation we were very interested in.  To make a long story short, the birth mom lived in our state.  She was just a few weeks away from giving birth.   We met her.  We heard her story of heart break and despair.  She liked us.  She asked us to parent the baby she was carrying and knew she could not care for.  We talked several times.  Kimberly took her to the doctor a few times.  If it makes sense, we can say this “felt” right.  It felt more natural than either of the first two circumstances.  Things worked out.

Closing the Story

A friend had suggested the name Shepherd when we thought we were going to receive a little boy earlier in the process.  I wasn’t a huge fan.  But, every time I turned around God was leading me to scripture and bringing out the idea of shepherding throughout biblical history.  We all know Psalm 23 paints a picture of “the LORD” as shepherd but the Old Testament is filled with imagery of God as Israel’s shepherd (and if you’ll accept it, the shepherd of anyone who calls on his name).  I became a fan of the name because God was obviously writing a story.

So, with this name in hand, when our baby’s mom asked if we had a name picked out, I boldly said, “We like the name Shepherd for a boy.”  She hated it.  But I think she was willing to deal with it especially if her son got to live with a family that liked Alabama football.  [She’s learned to deal with Kimberly’s LSU alumnus status.  But, it was seriously important to her that we not like Auburn.  This stuff happens for real.  Kimberly and I couldn’t stop laughing when our football allegiance was questioned.]

June 22^nd rolled around.  While we watched Monster’s University with our big boy, Kimberly received a call and headed to Montgomery because birth mom was in serious labor pain.  That evening our son was born.  A few days later we brought him home to be a part of our family forever.

What have we gained?

We have a little boy that in some ways looks just like us.  He has all of his fingers and toes.  He has a head full of hair.  He sleeps great at night.  He eats a lot (very much like Caleb and me).  He also has a fun personality.  He laughs at me anytime I look at him (unless he’s hungry, sleepy or ready to be changed).  But, in some ways he looks nothing like us.  His skin is pale.  His hair is straight and blondish red.  His eyes are hazel (maybe headed toward brown).  But, we are all certain that he is where he belongs.  Who ever heard of a black family with a child who looks white in a place like Alabama?  [to clarify: birth mom is white and believes birth father to be black]  But, God knows exactly what he’s doing.  He’s made our family one that will impact our world with the gospel and hopefully give face to the idea of racial reconciliation.  Because guess what, there won’t be segregation in heaven.  So, people!  God’s people!  Get ready!!  Because the picture I have of heaven is one where people of every nation, tongue and tribe will gather around the throne to worship the Lion and the lamb who was slain before the foundation of the world.  So, how dare I reject or love a child less because he may not share my roots in a little place we like to call Africa.  I am forever humbled when I think about what a family should look like.  A family is comprised of people who love each other in the way that God expects us to love each other.  So, look out for more from our boy Shepherd! 

I hope you were patient enough to make it to the point. :)  Shepherd is ours and we are his.  Everyday, we are here to love him and point him back to his heavenly Father.  And, if you've waited til now, here's his picture.

The Lord is the strength of his people;
    he is the saving refuge of his anointed.
Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
    Be their shepherd and carry them forever. – Psalm 28:8-9

 

Childhood memories

So, lately I've been somewhere or seen something or talked with somebody about something that took me back to my childhood.

First, the new school brings all the school buses back to the highways.  And, it takes me back to when I used to ride Marengo County School Bus No. 22.  Yeah, you guessed it, I'm old and so was my bus.  The bus driver was Coach Washington.  He picked me up at about 6:05 AM.  I was usually the first to get on even though my stop was second or third along the way.  But, that also meant I was among the first to get off.  I was usually home by 3:30 in the afternoons.  Coach Washington was awesome.  He was a heavy black guy that had been a basketball coach at some point in his career.  He came complete with a constant piece of drool on his lip.  That reminds me of my 15 month old.

The second bit from childhood came when the family was eating at the Pita Hut a couple of weeks ago.  A kid came in and tried to sell us some doughnuts on behalf of his "church".  Out of pity, we helped him out, but told him to give the doughnuts to somebody else.  I pitied the poor fellow because I remember selling doughnuts.  The great thing about selling doughnuts where I lived though is that KrispyKreme was a special treat because there wasn't a KK store there and they weren't being sold in the grocery stores like they are now.  Yeah, I'm both ancient and country.  But, oh the misery of rejection when you attempt to sell something.  And, oh the pain of having to deliver the tons of stuff that you've sold if you do make lots of sales.   Fundraisers are a double edged sword.  So, mamas don't make your babies grow up to be salesmen.

And, the next memory came when I was talking to somebody about Saturday morning cartoons.  I got my fair share when I was little, but the minute my dad thought I was useful for anything (even holding his hammer), he took my Saturday mornings and turned them into opportunities to make money.  We either went to my grandmothers to do stuff (like cut hay, rake hay, bale and stack hay, fix pasture fences, look for the cows - if they got out of the pasture, chase the cows into the catch pen - so we could haul them away and sell them for you your steak or hamburger, feed the cows hay or feed, pull corn, shell peas, pull watermelons, collect eggs from the chicken).  Okay you get the picture.  My grandma lived on a cattle farm and my dad made me work on Saturdays.  And, if it wasn't working there, it was cutting grass.  So, guess what I'm buying a farm and a riding lawn mower.  Caleb's going to be working soon.  That way, he can be a great guy like his dad.  Yes, I can be vain.  :o)

Much love

Leaving Stuff Behind

"A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous. - Proverbs 13:22"   After attending church on Sunday, July 4th and hearing a great sermon, I specifically thought about the first half of the scripture shown above.   The fine folks here in the United States have a proud heritage that we like to pass from one generation to the next.  And, I don't knock that.  But, there is a greater heritage that we have in Christ that we should pass along to our children.  And, now I need to backtrack because I know you're looking at the scripture and you're looking at my words and you're thinking, that scripture is talking about leaving your children and their children some STUFF.  And, I don't deny that it probably is, but what about good men that don't have money to leave behind.  What would they leave?  And, for those that paid attention in Ecclesiastes to the story about the man that works so hard to leave money to his sons and he doesn't know whether his beneficiaries will be wise men or idiots.  What vanity?! 

So, here's what Jarvis Wright is thinking.  I won't spend the money that God blesses my family with frivolously but I don't plan on hoarding up so that my son(s and daughters) won't have to earn what they get in life.  But, I will pour out the life that I have for God.  So, if there's money for somebody to argue over when I die, great for them.  But, in my estimation, it's more important that we live simply that others may simply live.  And, if you know me by now, I'm not just talking humanitarian aide with.  God is moving us more and more toward pouring out our lives for the sake of reaching others with the gospel of Christ.  So, that means the inheritance that I leave for Caleb and others who may follow him will be an inheritance of a life surrendered to God.  And, the decision that I've made recently, is that I will live that life and journal about that life to leave the journals behind for my son and his future siblings; God willing.  Hopefully, what they see in me daily and what they read about me leads them to know that their dad loves God and loves them; even after I'm long gone.

Much love!!