Introducing Shepherd Wright

If you’ve bumped into our family in the last five months, you’ve seen a definite difference.  We are now a family of four (five if you count dogs).  That’s right!!  We’ve added a second son (and this one) via adoption.  If you haven’t seen us and therefore you met him, then maybe you’ve seen pictures.  But, in case neither of the above is true for you.  We’re ready for you guys to meet him since as of October the adoption is final and the decree is signed.  I hope you’ll read our story and rejoice with us for all that God has done in our lives.

Why adopt? –

We are often asked why we decided to adopt.  There are lots of reasons why adoption has always been a desire for us.  A) There are lots of children who need love.  And our capacity to love is big.  B)  God’s word says that it is a “pure religion” that cares for widows and orphans… – and adoption is one means for doing so C) I saw lots of hurting children when I was a child.  I always wanted to help.  That desire never left me.  D) Adoption has actually always been in my life.  I’ve seen firsthand what it means to love children that are not your own biologically as if it was the most natural thing ever.  E) But, lastly, Kimberly and I were both motivated by the knowing that we are adopted.  A loving God sought us out and made us part of his family.  In turn, we want others, as many others as possible to know his saving grace.  And, we sincerely pray that he is gracious to our sons that they would come to saving faith in the Messiah.

A quest to adopt…

I’ve come to the conclusion that the adoption process is always a journey filled with ups and downs.  After taking the first step of deciding to adopt, the journey kicks off with ordinary stuff like completing lots of paperwork and opening up your life to a great deal of scrutiny.  And, then you make it to the point where there’s an approvable (hopefully) home study that explains just who the adoptive family is and what they’re about.  We then completed a profile with lots of pictures and words about our family that was shared with the birth mom [a new term I learned for a woman who is giving birth to a child that is adopted].  It’s a high point to get done with interviews and to have something that paints a picture of our family as the all-American Christian family that wants to adopt a baby.

Then the low hits when you think you’re matched but mama decides to keep baby either because she now thinks it’s the best thing or she just can’t bear the thought of losing the child that she has now held in her arms.   That feels like a major loss.  Real tears are shed and real grief is felt.  Sleepless nights follow.  Prayer for both mama and the child happen continually.  This heartbreaking moment happened to us twice.

We prayed a lot.  We asked, “Why?” a lot.  We began to seek out what God was doing in us and whether he might have us take a different approach on something.  Did I say we prayed a lot?  We knew God had led us to the path of adoption and so we didn’t want to give up.  We were confident that he had a child for us.  And, in the words of Fred Hammond, “to give up now would be jacked up for sure”.

With one of our failed adoptions, we landed in an attorney’s office.  Apparently sometimes attorneys have women who approach them looking for matching adoptive parents.  We gave the attorney the green light to share our info if such a case happened.  His assistant said not to hold our breath because it rarely happens.  Well, she called us twice in as many weeks with ladies looking for adoptive parents.  The second ended up being a situation we were very interested in.  To make a long story short, the birth mom lived in our state.  She was just a few weeks away from giving birth.   We met her.  We heard her story of heart break and despair.  She liked us.  She asked us to parent the baby she was carrying and knew she could not care for.  We talked several times.  Kimberly took her to the doctor a few times.  If it makes sense, we can say this “felt” right.  It felt more natural than either of the first two circumstances.  Things worked out.

Closing the Story

A friend had suggested the name Shepherd when we thought we were going to receive a little boy earlier in the process.  I wasn’t a huge fan.  But, every time I turned around God was leading me to scripture and bringing out the idea of shepherding throughout biblical history.  We all know Psalm 23 paints a picture of “the LORD” as shepherd but the Old Testament is filled with imagery of God as Israel’s shepherd (and if you’ll accept it, the shepherd of anyone who calls on his name).  I became a fan of the name because God was obviously writing a story.

So, with this name in hand, when our baby’s mom asked if we had a name picked out, I boldly said, “We like the name Shepherd for a boy.”  She hated it.  But I think she was willing to deal with it especially if her son got to live with a family that liked Alabama football.  [She’s learned to deal with Kimberly’s LSU alumnus status.  But, it was seriously important to her that we not like Auburn.  This stuff happens for real.  Kimberly and I couldn’t stop laughing when our football allegiance was questioned.]

June 22^nd rolled around.  While we watched Monster’s University with our big boy, Kimberly received a call and headed to Montgomery because birth mom was in serious labor pain.  That evening our son was born.  A few days later we brought him home to be a part of our family forever.

What have we gained?

We have a little boy that in some ways looks just like us.  He has all of his fingers and toes.  He has a head full of hair.  He sleeps great at night.  He eats a lot (very much like Caleb and me).  He also has a fun personality.  He laughs at me anytime I look at him (unless he’s hungry, sleepy or ready to be changed).  But, in some ways he looks nothing like us.  His skin is pale.  His hair is straight and blondish red.  His eyes are hazel (maybe headed toward brown).  But, we are all certain that he is where he belongs.  Who ever heard of a black family with a child who looks white in a place like Alabama?  [to clarify: birth mom is white and believes birth father to be black]  But, God knows exactly what he’s doing.  He’s made our family one that will impact our world with the gospel and hopefully give face to the idea of racial reconciliation.  Because guess what, there won’t be segregation in heaven.  So, people!  God’s people!  Get ready!!  Because the picture I have of heaven is one where people of every nation, tongue and tribe will gather around the throne to worship the Lion and the lamb who was slain before the foundation of the world.  So, how dare I reject or love a child less because he may not share my roots in a little place we like to call Africa.  I am forever humbled when I think about what a family should look like.  A family is comprised of people who love each other in the way that God expects us to love each other.  So, look out for more from our boy Shepherd! 

I hope you were patient enough to make it to the point. :)  Shepherd is ours and we are his.  Everyday, we are here to love him and point him back to his heavenly Father.  And, if you've waited til now, here's his picture.

The Lord is the strength of his people;
    he is the saving refuge of his anointed.
Oh, save your people and bless your heritage!
    Be their shepherd and carry them forever. – Psalm 28:8-9

 

Money Tips!!!

I am terrible with money because I can’t be precise to save my life. I’m a saver married to a spender. But my saving is always relative. I never know how much I’m saving. I just like to throw money in savings and never spend on anything. So, thankfully, God has been gracious to me in many ways in terms of his provision (especially in the area of a wife who watches the bank account like a hawk.) So, see these tips on money but once you get past the first three, I don’t know how good they really are.

#1 Trust the Lord for your provision. Seek him and follow his commands. (See Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.)

#2 Be content with what you have. Do you really, really need more stuff? I bet you could survive on what you have. So, stop striving for more stuff. It just drowns out your ability to follow #1 because you trust your stuff more than you trust God.

#3 Get a job and be faithful at performing it.

#4 Make a budget that allows you to live within your means and that supports the following items (see #s below). Kimberly and I use the envelope system. We learned it from Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. But you can probably find more info about it online.

#5 Give generously. Tithe to your church (if you have one -- If you don’t you probably shouldn’t be reading this list anyway). And, don’t be nitpicking about tithing on gross or net. Be generous. There’s actually no New Testament command to the church to give 10% so give more than that.  Give toward the advancement of the gospel and to other good causes.

#6 Put $1000 in a savings account. Sacrifice a few lattes or a few shopping sprees and save one thousand dollars. Leave it in savings and only remove it for REAL emergencies. Needing a pair shoes is NOT an emergency. If your air conditioner goes out in your car, that’s NOT an emergency. If its winter and the heat in your house doesn’t work, that IS an emergency. But, remember #1, don’t start to trust in that $1000 because as soon as you start to trust in that, you’ll have $5000 worth of trouble.

#7 Get out of debt. Pay off credit cards. Pay off car loans. Pay off student loans. And, close the accounts. You might save one credit card just so your credit score doesn’t tank (in case you ever need or want to buy a house)

#8 Start to buy stuff with cash. So, for instance if you need a car after you’ve paid the current one off, save the money so that with your trade you can pay cash for a car that is one or two years old (or older if you can stand it). For most of us we won’t ever buy a house with cash. But, most recommend a short term loan like 10 or 15 year mortgages.

#9 Don’t give loans. I don’t loan anybody money. I do obey Jesus’ command to give to those that ask of me. But, I usually don’t expect it back. I don’t always say that I don’t expect it back, but I make sure I can live without it when I give it. This will save your relationships with your family and friends. Loaning money and holding onto an expectation to see it again, will cause you to harbor unforgiveness.

#10 Be content with what you have. Yeah, I know I said that in #2 but you need to hear it again. Unfortunately, living in America, we tend to fall prey to culture’s bent for us to have more and more and MORE. (As a for instance, I can think of 20 reasons why Kimberly and I need a bigger house. But honestly, people in a lot of places raise bigger families than ours in less space with fewer things. So, until baby #4 gets here, I think we’ll stick it out in our 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath house). You like that subtle hint, don’t you?

It’s not what you think…

I have trouble being an American sometimes.  I think we can be too self-sufficient and too selfish.  A trip that I made to Haiti at the end of July has made it even harder for me to be comfortable.  I keep thinking about the words of Jesus and looking at my life and going something’s not right here.  One of the scriptures that I’ve looked to recently is the account of a rich young ruler.  Here’s what I see and what I wholeheartedly believe it teaches us.

In Luke 18 (also an account in Matthew and Mark), Jesus encounters a rich guy that wanted to assert himself as deserving of the kingdom of God.  So, he asks Jesus a question about what he needed to do to be saved.  It got down to Jesus telling him to go get rid of all his stuff, give the proceeds to the poor and to follow him (Jesus).   Jesus wanted him to unload all of the deadweight from his life so that he wouldn’t have any trouble being a worthy disciple.

Well, the young man refused to part ways with his stuff.  And as he walked away sad, Jesus turned to his disciples and said, "How difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!  For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God." And then, those who heard it said, "Then who can be saved?"

So, what’s the confusion about here among the listeners?  Well, you’d have to go back to people like Abraham to see.  Abraham was very wealthy.  His son Isaac was very wealthy.  And his sons were also very wealthy.  And, if you follow the history and even the law of the Jews, it seemed that those who found favor with God had great wealth.  And, now Jesus says it is exceedingly difficult to enter the kingdom of God as a rich man.  Why?

It is because God requires our full allegiance.  If we will trust in him for salvation and not our stuff, then we have to take our eyes off our stuff to truly see what he desires for us.  Jesus makes several comments similar to this.  The whole line of conversations about one guy needing to go bury his father or another wanting to go say goodbye to his family; in all of these Jesus is saying that the kingdom has urgency and if you can’t get on board with the urgency of the kingdom then you’re not worthy of me.

Jesus also says that we must pick up our cross and follow him.  That’s right pick up the very tool that was used to kill Jesus and at least one of his disciples and follow him.  The kingdom of God is counter cultural.  Christ calls us to imitate him in denouncing the ways of this world and trusting him with every aspect of our lives which may mean that we lose our lives; as in we may not be popular with the people that like the world; and as in we may literally lose our lives pursuing what he tells us to pursue.

Jesus said lots of hard stuff.  And, it all makes me ask the question… “Have most “Christians” missed the mark of what it means to follow him, to really really follow him?  

Did something change from the Old Testament to the New?  I think so.  If you look at all the patriarchs and their wealth, they served God with it.  And, one of the primary goals of the Old Testament was to establish a nation and to establish a place where God could be worshipped (i.e. the temple.)  And, now both Christ and his followers are the temple of God.  So, it doesn’t take a lot of money to upkeep a body.  So, we give it away to people who are dying with the hope of saving their lives and saving their souls.

God has called us to himself that we would worship him and then he has commissioned us to go tell others about him that they might worship him.   And sometimes it takes us selling all that we have and giving the proceeds to the poor in order to accomplish that.  The gospel aint ya mama’s prosperity gospel.  

Much love!

Identified with Christ (Make much of him, not yourself)

Lately, I've been reading Paul's letter to the Romans (I'm still in Chapter 1).  I've literally been stuck there for a couple of months and, I don't mean that in a bad way...  I had been wanting to study and memorize parts of Romans for a while now, but since I have been reading it this time through, I keep going back to Paul's introduction in the first six or seven verses.

It's the longest of all of Paul's introductions in his letters to the churches.  And, that is largely because it is to a church that he did not have a part in launching nor had he even visited.  But, he longed to visit and he also appears to want to make Rome a new ministry base for his ministry in the "West".  This eventually happens, but not in a way that you, me or Paul would have drawn it up.  It became his base a few years later as he sat their imprisoned; and there he also eventually died.

But, back to the verses and what I believe they say to me the most...  Paul talks about himself for half a verse and even that is pointed to Jesus and Paul's role as his servant.  As Paul gushes on and on about the gospel and how it was foretold for hundreds and thousands of years by the prophets; and about Jesus and how he's the Son of David and the Son of God; and God's grace towards us via apostleship and the establishment of his kingdom, I lose sight of Paul himself as a man.

As for me; I find my identity in Christ, but if I some days I do find my identity in being a 6 foot 4 inch 240 pound black dude; in being an engineer, in working for the "power company", in being Kimberly's husband, in being Caleb's dad,  in being Jessie's youngest son; in some sort of political allegiance; in a social club; in the house I own; or the car I drive...   You get the picture!  Christ follower, identify with your savior before you identify with anything else.

The gospel is being watered down with the lives we live that are about us, our desires, and our dreams.  Churches have become social clubs and sermons have become about having your best life now and reaching our personal goals.  Instead, we should all pursue what Paul speaks of a little further into Romans Chapter 1...  He was obligated both to Greeks and Barbarians to preach the gospel to them.  Make it your aim to preach the gospel of Jesus' life, death, burial, resurrection, ascension and his return.  That's worth living for... When we make much of him; and less of ourselves, our lives then have the most value, they'll ever have.

Much love!!

delusions of grandeur

A definition of delusions of grandeur is as follows: delusions (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are…

I’m willing to admit that I suffer from this.  I think I can dance better than I really can.  I also think that I can sing like one of the three tenors.  I believe that I can accomplish great feats like dunking a basketball.  (That one isn’t too far fetched since I could do it in high school and college.)  I even think that I’d be a great racecar driver as proven by my weaving skills on Highway 280.  But lately I’ve been feeling like I should be a rapper.  And I mean literally, I could just turn into LL Cool J and just start breaking out into song mid-stride.  "Mama said knock you out!!!"

So I’ve always suffered from these delusions.  But, I also suffer from great thoughts of defeat.  I often think that I’m a weakling that has no authority, no power even in my own home and that I should go crawl under a rock somewhere and no one would ever notice.  So, I guess you could say I’m not only paranoid, schizophrenic, and delusional, but I’m also bi-polar.  Anyway, on the delusional note, I’ve been aided along in my delusions by the preaching of God’s word.  Our pastor has been preaching from the book of Acts.  And, this week’s sermon was on Chapters 5-8 of that book.  There we see that the only purpose for our lives as Christians is to move the gospel to the ends of the earth...  to make known that there is only one God worthy of worship.  And, in that purpose God has made us unstoppable.  We as the church will accomplish the purpose of God for our lives or die trying.  And, that’s no delusion my friends!  Come lose your life with me, and together we will find our lives.  That’s the gospel.

Much love!